Sometimes Things Suck – And That’s Okay.

love sucks club coverIn honor of my new release, “The Love Sucks Club,” I’m writing today about things that suck. As any of my friends and blog readers can tell you, I am a proponent of living in joy and making life something to be loved. That said, sometimes things just suck. Sometimes, you’re in a sucky relationship or your job sucks or your financial situation sucks. That morning you slept late, stepped full on into cat puke, got a flat tire, and then got to work late only to get yelled at by your boss? That sucked. When you discovered your ex was cheating on you? That sucked? When your kid hit puberty and started yelling about how much she hates you and everything you stand for? Yeah, that really sucked.

For me, right now, my job sucks. I mean, it just sucks.Β I’m not even going to list the myriad ways in which it sucks. Just take my word for it. It sucks.

Sometimes things just suck. And sometimes, that’s okay. When things suck, we can wallow in the suckiness for only so long before we start to realize that we are going to have to make a change. I’ve been guilty of staying in a relationship for too long because I was afraid of the change. In hindsight, though, it was the best thing I ever did for myself. Leaving that relationship prompted me to sprout my own wings and challenge myself to live my own life.

I once smoked. I smoked for 22 years and at the end of it, I was smoking almost two packs a day. I couldn’t breathe. Really. I woke up every single night, several times a night with my hand pressed against my chest, trying desperately to take in some air. It sucked. It sucked so bad that one day I decided that not breathing was worse than the pain and difficulty of quitting and I stopped.

So my job sucks. And that’s okay. I’ve been kind of drifting along complacently, writing, and playing on Facebook, and half-heartedly marketing my books. I’m not very good at marketing, is what I kept telling myself. (That takes us right back into negative self-talk and self doubt, which are other demons to conquer, but that’s another story.) So I drifted and I lived an amazing life of travelling and hanging out with my friends and moving around and doing whatever I wanted to do whenever I wanted to do it. And then, the royalties started to dwindle and it came time for me to get a “job.” Which leads me to where I am now… in a job that sucks.

Here’s the part where I can reframe my perspective and find gratitude for the suckiness. You see, being in a cubicle in a job I hate is so far removed from who I am that I can’t stay there any longer than is absolutely necessary. And here’s where it gets kind of fun. Hating my job has led me to being way more active in self-promotion and working toward my dreams. I’ve recently written an eight week class on Creative Journaling for Inner Peace and Self-love that I intend to teach at the local Unitarian Church. I have made contact with several local news sources, one of which actually responded with a request for book copies for reviews, and an interview for a story. Through that contact, I met a screenwriter who wants to read my first novel and talk about the movie options. And for the first time, I ordered books myself from my publisher with the intention of getting them out there to be read and reviewed. I ordered a video promo of “The Love Sucks Club” that I will put on YouTube. And I am making a video recording of me reading a funny scene from “Man Enough.” Some of this stuff may lead somewhere and some of it may not, but the important thing is that I am getting out there and working for myself.

Would I have done all of this if I wasn’t wanting so desperately to get out of my job? I doubt it. I had plenty of opportunity before, and I didn’t. So, sometimes suckiness really is awesomeness in disguise.

My friend Yvonne is fond of telling me that I should do just one thing every single day that is a step toward my goals. One thing. Her thought is that as long as you do that one thing, no matter what it is, you have made positive progress toward living your dreams. She’s right. One little step every single day still means I am moving forward. And moving forward means moving out of suckiness and into awesomeness, which quite frankly, is where I belong.

To commemorate the birth of my newest novel and the embracing of suckiness in all of our lives, I am giving away a copy of “The Love Sucks Club” to one random person who leaves a comment on this blog.

 

EDITED: The winner of the book giveaway was Lisa Hurt. Thank you everyone who stopped by to play. And Lisa, let’s chat so I can get your information to send you a book.

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39 thoughts on “Sometimes Things Suck – And That’s Okay.”

  1. Okay, you know me as Susan Sant on FB. It sucks that I’ll invest over $3500 in landscaping my year for sale. But it will look great when it’s done! It sucks that I have thousands of dollars in unpaid invoices out. But they will be paid! It sucks that I have a travel trailer on “layaway” at the RV dealer. But I’ll get it paid off when the invoices are paid! It sucks that I might not make it to Fest again this year, this time due to work. But I have work! Unlike last year. It sucks that I have to sell my home and move to Texas. But I’ll be nearer my daughter and granddaughter and can see them much more often!

    Very much a trade, Beth!! See all the good things that come from the suck in our lives.

  2. You are an inspiration to people who have jobs that suck. I have been at the same job for 7 years. Sometimes it sucked but most of it was ok. Now it is starting to suck again. I think I have just been here too long. Need to move on…….Good Luck on your books.

  3. Love this blog, sweet womon. It sucked that I “got stuck” with a mortgage that was meant for 2 incomes, but it was good that I had a profession that kept me in work and keeps all the bills paid. And that, if I am careful, has allowed me to be able to play–Fiji here I come this Sept.

    It sucked that next I had to be in a catch and release relationship to see that I had a pattern in my partner picking. But it gave me the impetus to learn about alcoholism and my part in the disease, and that has been good. I am still attracted to alcoholics (this time 38 years sober), but I am better educated in the disease and the people who love alcoholics so I am giving it a chance and so far it is very good.

    Keep on writing and loving and growing and you will be the happy womon you already are in all your doings.

  4. Oh. My. Dog. This is EXACTLY what I needed to hear today.

    Thank you for sharing this!

    (And best of luck with the promotion. I SUCK at that!) πŸ™‚

  5. Your friend, Yvonne, sounds wise.

    BTW, I absolutely *love* that Amazon shows a release date of April Fools for the print version of the book. Was that planned?

  6. You know,we’ve all been there before- some things about life and love just suck. The best part is, they don’t have to.

    Getting to spend time with my 17 month old daughter definitely doesn’t suck. Being in a happy marraige and partnership where the two of us work to raise our daughter up to he a happy and healthy little girl doesn’ suck. Getting to still do the things that please me, like spending time with my buddies or taking an old friend to Palm Springs doesn’t suck.

    Life can suck. But it doesn’t have to suck. And it shouldn’t, even though it does sometimes.

  7. I adore you Beth Anne! And, while I don’t have a legit job right now……

    I generally try to be positive, but, with all honesty, washing the socks and underwear of a 10 YO and 7 YO boy SUCKS!!! The socks smell like hot, rancid road kill…. Undie stains and skid marks. Traumatized!!! Disgusted by the male of the species…. Today, I gave up. I threw their rancid socks and shit stained undies away. It. Was. That. Bad. Tomorrow I hit Target for kid sized odor eaters and dark colors of kid underpants….. I’m gunna get rid of what sucks in life on my own! Sometimes, it’s a one woman show and only you can make it better….. shit stained underwear and all.

  8. Interesting blog, life is full of up & downs, I’ve always left a job when it wasn’t “fun” anymore – life’s too short to work if the position isn’t enjoyable/happy/fun …. Go find your awesomeness

  9. LIving with passion, is a way to live in awesomeness.Beth, You are so doing it! And by doing it, you are inspiring others to do it because you are spilling over in awesomeness. Who wouldn’t want a piece of that? Thank you for walking the walk. It is refreshing.

  10. I’ve had so much suckiness (is that actual word?) in my life recently. Becoming who I am meant to be is harder than I thought it would be. The most recent loss of my father without resolving our issues is dragging me down. I am trying to stay positive and focus on my dreams. I know I will love this book when I read it!

  11. Your hillarious~ some days do full on just suck! Tomorrow is another day πŸ™‚ let’s hope for less suckiness πŸ™‚

  12. This week sucked. I got told I need a knee replacement. I got both a cold and my period. Worst of all I was an ass to my loving mother. What didn’t suck was confessing how badly I felt about it all to my mother and to my wife, and getting forgiven when I didn’t deserve it. Being vulnerable sucks, and I am bad at it. It is also a gift I keep getting, over and over, from the spirit of the universe who knows what I need to heal and grow.

  13. Poor sucky ducky! But unlucky to a really plucky ducky is no big thing. So you, my friend, need to buck(y) up and ignore the yucky! Please note that I kept this clean. Now quite moping around and SMILE! You’d be surprised what that does for the soul.

  14. Yup, sometimes stuff just sucks, plain and simple. That’s life. As long as I keep finding the gratitude and joy in things on a daily basis, those sucky things usually wind up turning right around pretty damn fast. And no matter what, the stuff that sucks is never permanent, anyway, so it’s temporary suckiness, and that’s GOOD! Your book sounds delightful, and definitely something to look forward to reading! Enjoy a “suck-free” day!

  15. Yes sometimes things suck. But then you learn about a fun new author and book and the suckyness recedes.

  16. The sucky days or jobs or lifestuffs just help to reinforce the wonders when the sucky disappears for a bit! “It sucks, therefore I am!”

  17. You know I want to be counted in this!! Your books are awesome and you are just all kinds of awesomeness. I totally get many things you’ve gone through, especially the smoking. I too was a menthol smoker for over 20 years. Quitting was one of the hardest things I ever did, but it was also the best thing I could ever do!! Cheers to you and don’t ever stop being awesome!!!

  18. Just your blog has increased my interest in what you say in your book. I’ll be purchasing a copy when my social security check comes in! THANKS!!!

  19. I am stuck in cubicular bondage as well…sigh. Really enjoyed your first book, and just reading you go on about making positive change on this blog is inspiring. My problem is I just don’t know what I want to do…and I have been stuck here for a very long time.

  20. You have an indescribable talent for capturing the contemporary human condition. Thank you for sharing your depth and light with us. I wanna hug you as soon as possible!

    I won’t go into the list of things that suck for me right now because I don’t have to–you know they are there because it is a shared experience that you have articulated so very well. Keep pushing yourself, Beth. You are wonderful when you have to be.

  21. I work in a Prison with mentally ill inmates, what sucks is one of them spit in my face the other night. But I still like my job. What really sucks is that I had to tell my officers last night that they lost a friend and colleague that afternoon and try to get the words out with out losing it myself. But I still like my job. What sucks is that I do a job that even the cops won’t do because they can’t carry a gun. But I still like my job. What sucks is that I am up all night keeping them behind bars so you can sleep, and you probably never even gave it a second thought. But I still like my job! So when life throws you that curve remember some people’s jobs could be worse then yours but they do it because no one else would.

    1. Your post seems a little hostile as well as incorrect.. Your job does sound very difficult, but there are many people who work within the penal system, with the toughest populations, not just you,There are also countless people who have other very emotionally and physically difficult jobs, those that work with the sick, troubled and dying, for examples, as well as those who put their lives on the line every day, sometimes sacrificing their lives, to protect and serve. I am sure they, their families, and others know exactly and “give thought to” the emotional costs of having those jobs. Even those with less demanding jobs can have difficulties with them that you may not realize.

  22. I think we’re soul sisters. I also quit smoking. Hardest damn thing ever. You should read “Write. Publish. Repeat.” about marketing. Thanks for the blog!

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