That Loving Feeling

Yes, I admit. I had lost that loving feeling. I knew what my next book was going to be about. I had a full outline. I had even started writing it. Several times. I was deeply into it, but it never flowed. It just didn’t feel right. I had lost that loving feeling. Not only did I never close my eyes when my manuscript kissed my lips, but I wasn’t even slightly aroused by the sex scenes. Something was seriously wrong.

It was like the end of a long marriage, when you know you want to be together, but you don’t have any spark left and you just can’t figure out how to get it back. I talked it over with my sister, I read books and articles on how to rekindle the romance, but nothing I did seemed to bring back the joy and ecstasy. I finally did what any self-respecting author would do. I cheated on it.

Yes, I turned it off and started working on something else. It wasn’t even that great of a something else, but it was different and exciting. I started spending a lot of time with my side fling and thinking about it when we weren’t together. I talked about it to other people in a far too casual way. Sometimes, I would wake up in the middle of the night and sneak a glance at it, as if to make sure it was still there. I was definitely in lust.

And then, one day, I opened up the old manuscript, the one that is meant to be my second book, the one that had become a boring old marriage and something strange happened. It opened its arms and welcomed me back. It forgave me for leaving. It forgave me for losing my lust for it. It didn’t ask any questions, it just welcomed me home. And I started writing on it again, and the writing was good.

I ended up editing out way more than I have ever done before, but what’s left flows. That loving feeling is back. And now, I think about it when I go to sleep at night and I turn on the computer first thing before I even get out of bed in the morning to reread what I wrote the night before. I’ve fallen back in love with my second novel. And I can’t wait to get it done so you can fall in love with it, too.

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